JOHN STEWART, Green Lantern #182 and #183 (first appearance as Earths 3rd Green Lantern), 1984. Given the column headline, Dark Stars, named after the intergalactic police force Darkstars where he was the field leader, it makes sense the first official column focus on my man John Stewart — the first Black member of the Lantern Corps, policing sector 2814.

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I’ve got major beef with the lack of Black surrounding John Stewart and his perceived character. First of all, his verbiage was busted forreal. He came off more like OJ (i.e. black on the outside, white on the inside) and his essence as a Black man didn’t ring true. The issues were written and published in 1984. Way Black then, Black people were doing things that set off a cultural tidal wave that still impacts us today. Black in the day, 1984 was about breakdancin’. This is the same year we got schooled by Turbo and Ozone in Breakin’.

Black in the day, we were using words like FRESH!, WORD!, and Ain’t No Stoppin’ was blazin’ your boombox on the corner while you rocked that headspin on your cardboard mat. My point isn’t to say that John Stewart should be all shuk-n-jive (and it’s clear he was a seriously intelligent type brutha), but, I am saying that in 1984 no Black man worth his weight dropped lyrical bombs like oh, swell [page 17], or callin’ another man pond scum [#182,page 8] or even fella [#182,page 12,17]. It’s not realistic and as a Black man, I can’t relate. Especially with a flagrant foul like nutty as a case of cashews! [#183,page 15]:

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John Stewart was basically written like your everyday white man, but, rocked the afro and Black face. He wasn’t acknowledged by anyone as being Green Lantern even though he had the outfit. I’m tempted to put it out there that a lot of Black men aren’t taken seriously until they do something that allows the masses to perceive them as an exception to the rule. John Stewart as Green Lantern head-butted with this rule scenario throughout both issues — But you’re BLACK! and it’s impossible you are Green Lantern. He had to get down with proving his position even though he had the suit and the ring (and also despite the fact that when he arrived on the scene, my man flew in).

There was a whole lot of haterade drinkin’ going around in issue #182 and #183. It’s an understatement to say that John Stewart is up against some adversity — new Green Lantern, new Foe, old Green Lantern is hatin’, and on top of all that my man has to deal with the Black thing too. I can’t relate to the John Stewart as a Black Man, but, I can appreciate him as a hero fighting to do what’s right even though everyone (including the bad guy) is wishin’ for the white guy.

Major Disaster:

“I know Green Lantern! I HATE Green Lantern! And you’re not him! Either you bring me the REAL Green Lantern — NOW! or we’ll all go to glory together!!”

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The REAL Green Lantern? It’s some strange ish when a supervillian doesnt even take you at face value! Major Disaster expected Hal Jordan, the white guy. This did fry his frontal lobe later on and cause him to pause on whether or not he truly hated Green Lantern, or was he really hatin’ on Hal Jordan himself.

I’m definitely putting it on Front St. that Hal Jordan, former Green Lantern, is a hater. In Green Lantern #182, he gives up his post serving the Guardians of the Universe as a member of Lantern Corps so he can be with his woman. He steps off so that he can get his swerve on with Carol Ferris of Ferris Aircraft where he is a test pilot. Nothing wrong with that, for the love of your woman, you know?

“I had dreams I had to put aside..dreams that mattered to me…a woman that mattered to me…Maybe now that I’ve resigned from the Green Lantern Corps because that woman…because of Carol…I can finally get on with those dreams…”

It’s evident to me after reading issue #182 that Hal Jordan is quite possibly a straight up racist on the downlow.

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Then, in issue #183 Hal Jordan tries to convince one of his friends that the sole reason for him trippin’ is because the Guardians of the Universe gave the ring…TO A COWORKER! If that doesn’t sound like some ish, then pull my card. On the last page of #183 we get another taste of Jordan hatin & regrettin’. The real scoop is that Hal Jordan is not only a hater, but he is also nothing without the ring. He’s got the woman and that’s not enough. Questioning the decision of the Guardians for his successor? That’s just a punk move. Frontin’ a whole emo format in front of his lady because he’s not a ring slinger?? C’MON BRUH!.

“..if you don’t mind, Carol, i’d rather not hear about Green Lantern right now! why do I feel like someone just stuck a dagger in my gut? What in God’s name have I done to myself? Lord, waht have I done?”

Although I wasn’t down with the premiere of John Stewart as Green Lantern, in the end he breaks through and lays the pimp hand down on Major Disaster. We know that based on DC mainstream history John Stewart evolves into a major JLA powerhouse and reads much more true to his game than he did back in the 80’s. Finally, as it should be, at the end of issue #183 he also gets the girl (field reporter Tawny Young who has been feeling his mode since he touched down to fight Major Disaster). Sadly, the only thing I could relate to was the fact that John Stewarts game was strong:

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In the last ABSOLUTE GALACTUS column, the world devourer came to Galador, homeworld of ROM and his spaceknights. In the tail-end of the issue, ROM masterminds a plan to save his planet by offering to lead GALACTUS to the Dark Nebula star system and home of the lifelong Galadorian enemy, the Dire Wraiths in ROM #27.

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GALACTUS agrees to let ROM act as a pseudo-herald, leading him to the Dark Nebula despite his spaceknights obvious mistrust of GALACTUS. The planet eater isn’t phased by concerns of trust:

“It is of no concern of GALCTUS in what you place your trust, Galadorians — For GALACTUS has said before, and shall say again, that GALACTUS is SUPREME unto Himself! GALACTUS IS GALACTUS! That is all any lesser being ever need know!”

Even though the Dark Nebula is uninhabited by the wraiths (they get their groove on Earth now), ROM has a plan to flip the script and use GALACTUS to save his home planet from a double bladed fate (Galador is drifting towards the Dark Nebula while still being in danger of GALACTUS getting his eat on).

“The time has come, ROM of Galador, to lead GALACTUS to table!”

Wraithworld in the heart of the Dark Nebula turns out to be no joke though. GALACTUS sets up to dine on the Dire Wraiths planet, despite the fact his resource consuming instruments buckle under the weight of acid rains, destroying it completely. Even as the planet itself fights against the world devourer, the never ending hunger of GALACTUS will not pause and goes toe-to-toe with Wraithworld. In the end, he gets his natural ass whooped:

“The Dark Nebula exists as it will alays exist — an arcane presence in the cosmos — an obscene pesthole giving rise to plague and pestilence! For the first time in his existence it can be said of GALACTUS that he has met a world — an entire sector of space — which he had not the STOMACH to consume!”

After getting played by ROM, done dirty by Wraithworld and the Dark Nebula itself, GALACTUS tosses back his huge, helmeted head…and laughs!. GALACTUS keeps his promise to spare Galador even thugh ROM tried to turn him out and lays it down that turnabout is fair play…or does he? Get down with GALACTUS in the conclusion of this two-part story arc! It’s worth the stretch.

Bahlactus has spoken.