ABSOLUTE GALACTUS — Fantastic Four #122
I can’t even sugarcoat it, GALACTUS brings the thunder, straight up, in Fantastic Four #122, “GALACTUS Unleashed!“. There is so much action going down in this joint, I’m tempted to slide you 22 scanned pages for you to chew on, but, let me break you off with a solid blow-by-blow.
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GALACTUS is back and he’s rockin’ the Kirby Kilt with a vengeance! The last time the FF tangled with the plus-size-destroyer was back in Fantastic Four #74, and #75. To recap, he was on the hunt for the cosmos greatest waiter, the Silver Surfer (a.k.a. whitey — does the THING have something against shiny white heralds???), after GALACTUS exiled his herald on Earth. He was hungry and needed to get his meal on proper and only the Silver Surfer could bring a planet to the table like nobody’s business!
The fabulous F.F., and all of Mankind, must finally face Earth’s Deadliest Threat!
“I have come from the farthest reaches of space — to proclaim the DOOM of the HUMAN RACE!“
Clearly a lyrical tongue terrorist before his time, GALACTUS lays the verbiage on thick and once again it’s on & crackin’!!!
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The FF immediately tag-team GALACTUS immediately and (almost surprisingly) drop him early:
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The Silver Surfer realizing what type of can-o-whoop-ass they’ve cracked open tries to reason with the heroes:
“No more! No more! You know not what you DO! You must not anger him!”
That line didn’t stop the Montague’s and Capulet’s from warring and it’s not deterring the FF at all. The surfer tries to reason with GALACTUS only to have him smack the taste out of everyones mouth!
“HEAR me, GALACTUS! It is the Surfer that you seek! Do not waste your wrath on those who matter not!”
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Ben Grimm, a.k.a. the THING, isn’t the smartest cat in the world, but realizes that GALACTUS is layin’ down the hurt. Despite it all, he’s not without a few solid verbal jabs to keep the dialog going:
“I’m a bird-brain, that’s what! They tried to tell me not to tangle wit’ GALACTUS! But I hadda do it my way — thinkin’ wit’ my knuckles!“
Reed Richards attempts to rationalize the natural ass-whoopin’ GALACTUS is handing out like singles at a strip-club, telling Ben to be thankful we’re all still alive! Instantly feelin’ a revival coming on, the THING responds:
“Billy Graham couldn’t have said it BETTER!“
It’s clear to everyone that they can’t continue to go toe-to-toe and the Silver Surfer tries to go after GALACTUS ship (in orbit over Earth).
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Properly cold-cocked by exile enforcing shields, the herald emo-surfs back to the battle where the FF are doing their best to hold their own. Desperate, fed up, and resigned to his fate — the Silver Surfer decides to challenge GALACTUS himself!
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To think that you can challenge a being that forever consumes planets is MADNESS!!!. This isn’t Star Wars! C’MON!!!. The Silver Surfer, weary from trying to channel the power cosmic to drop stop GALACTUS crash lands and is down for the count. Ben is also out cold and Reed Richards does what he all scientific types do…they RUN!!!. The Human Torch realizes what the score is and is left to face GALACTUS:
I was just shuck-n-jivin’ about Mr. Fantastic. He ran so that he could come at the devourer another way. Just like the surfer, he’s goes after GALACTUS starship. After getting a shield-smackdown of his own and nearly dying in a meteor storm while free-floating in space, he eventually gets ahold AND control of the ship:
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Looks like the power-move by Mr. Fantastic has GALACTUS painted into a corner! Get down with the next ABSOLUTE GALACTUS in the near future to see how it all plays out! Until then, be easy. Bahlactus has spoken.
