Munson’s Milestone MondaysHardware #3 & #4

Mondays – It used to be the most dreaded day of the week, the day that people across this great nation would wake up and grumble about. Well that is not the case anymore my friends, the nation no longer wakes up angry about having to go to work, but excited at the prospect of reading yet another installment of TRIPLE M (Munson’s Milestone Mondays! and my apologies to the WWE for “borrowing” an idea)! So a hearty welcome to all the Milestone Minions out there, and to all you newcomers here’s a rundown of what we do. Every Monday, I review the Milestone Comics line and bring it to you in living color here on the Internet. All you have to do is sit back, relax, and read. This week I bring you issues 3 and 4 of Hardware, which is the conclusion of his origin story arc, and also sheds some light on a few things raised in the last MMM column about the shared universe these books share.

On we go to Hardware #3 – entitled Confrontations



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The issue opens up where we left off; Hardware is armed to the teeth and is about to nail Edwin Alva to the wall for his heinous illegal actions. He is still in his lab as he thinks through his plan, where in step 1 he takes out the security guards in the lobby by blasting them with his omni-cannon. He then plans to take an elevator ride that ends at the penthouse office of Alva where he dispatches more security guards by planting a bomb in the elevator which goes off when the doors open to the floor. He will then confront a weak willed Alva who is begging for his life. Hardware describes seeing his enemy like this and his weakness only fuels his need for vengeance, as he will rid the world of Alva by killing him. He will then hang up his Hardware armor, and seal off his lab and that would be it. Except for one thing, as Curtis thinks: “Vengeance is within my reach. I CAN’T lose. I won’t be caught. There’s no reason for Alva’s death to remain an elaborate daydream. Except that is feels so WRONG. WHY does it feel so wrong?” (I am going to hazard a guess that maybe it feels so wrong Curtis because you are blowing up and killing a lot of different people, places and things. That’s not the kind of activity one does if you want to feel right and okay about your place in the world. You don’t get the cute and fuzzy bunnies by blowing up your boss. But once again I digress…. On with our story!)

To figure out why he feels this way he once again visits the person who appears to provide him with his moral center – Barraki. He lets himself in to her apartment to wait for her to come home from a date, and when she does the truth behind their relationship unfurls before the reader. Yes my one problem from issues 1 & 2 gets answered as it appears that Barraki and Curtis are just friends, and while Barraki would like it to be different Curtis feels their friendship is more important. “I’ve had lots of lovers since we met, and only one friend.” Curtis tells her “I’m not going to screw around with this relationship in any sense of the word.” (Kind of makes you wonder if he ever saw “When Harry Met Sally” because he would know that men and women can never be “just friends” because the sex part just gets in the way) He is seeking her approval for his actions, and once again Barraki does not give it without some questions of her own. Her questions for Curtis revolve around why he invented the suit and why he feels the need to kill people with it. She wants to know what a brilliant person like Curtis expected to accomplish with Hardware, and what would Alva’s death accomplish. Curtis doesn’t know and asks, “What should I do?” Barraki replies as such:



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Hardware takes this conversation to heart as he plans to FINALLY confront Alva, but goes about it in what he calls “a little more subtle way” In other words, he decides no one innocent has to die. He broadcasts a false signal to the security monitors in the building so that the guards go to the back of Alva Tower while he waltzes in the front door. Much to his chagrin a couple of guards catch on, and Hardware has to make a move. In a change from the first couple of issues of wholesale slaughter, he uses his omni-cannon to deploy a Neural Net that causes random neural discharges in its victims, effectively and harmlessly paralyzing them. After doing this he goes to elevator hoping to avoid more security guards, but instead runs into three elevators full of them. Hardware realizes he is in for a long night, as the battle begins.

However, it is a battle that we the reader can only speculate about, as the next scene we see is the morning after the battle and Edwin Alva has arrived to his offices at the invitation of Hardware. Alva arrives at his penthouse floor to find rubble and the remains of his security force, and after telling one guard to get medical help for whoever needs it, he enters his office. Hardware is just sitting with a leg up on Alva’s desk, completely comfortable. The war of wills begins with Alva launching the first salvo. He offers Hardware a deal, in exchange for him no longer hounding his illegal businesses; Alva will pay him a lump sum to just go away. Alva continues:



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Hardware lets Alva bleed for a minute or so as Alva asks him if Hardware plans to kill him. In this moment, Hardware detours from his previous fantasies about killing Alva as he says “Not yet”. Hardware, in a moment reminiscent of a Bond villain, explains just what he has been up to all night in Alva’s office. He opened Alva’s safe and took his personal journal, his research notes, and other items that will help him piece together the structure of his criminal empire. He also copied everything on his computer, and as he could not crack the security on his files, plans to browse through the files at his leisure. With this info Hardware promises the following:



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Alva tries to get in the last word as he is dropped to the floor as he sarcastically tells Hardware that he has “quite a bit of work to do. Don’t let me keep you”. Hardware doesn’t let this go as he shatters Alva’s knee telling him that he ENJOYS his work, and then flies out the office window. Alva, writhing in pain, pulls out a communicator and talks into it. “this is Indigo Leader. System Alert!” he says, and the SYSTEMATIC Indigo team leader answers him. Alva tells this heretofore-unknown character to destroy Hardware as the last page shows a man in familiar shaped armor:



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Now is it just me or does that armor look exactly like the armored people in Static and Blood Syndicate? The answer dear friends is YES, so that raises another question and that is what connection does Alva, who appears to head up a group of these armored warriors, have to the Big Bang? Maybe we’ll find out in Hardware #4:



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Hardware begins this issue just as he is flying away from Alva’s building, enjoying the fact that he has gotten a leg up on his enemy’s illegal activities. He heads back to his sky tank and lifts off just as the man in armor attacks! The Indigo team leader blasts Hardware’s ship with a missile, crippling its flight system leaving Hardware no choice but to eject from his craft. But Hardware, being the technical genius that he is doesn’t just use an ejector seat with a parachute. Oh that is not good enough, as he activates what OBIE (the name he has for his On Board computer program built into his armor) calls his Soft Landing Module.



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Yup, that’s right, a hang glider. This guy has everything! However the explosion of his ship as it crashes sends debris through one of his glider wings, which sets him down for a rougher landing then he would have liked. Awaiting him there is his armored nemesis, who asks just one question (no it isn’t “do you feel lucky?”) “What kept you, Hardware?” The armored villain reveals that he is wearing SYSTEMATIC Indigo Class Battle Armor, so now we have a name for these mechanical lurkers in the Dakotaverse. The armored foes then do battle, and as Hardware discovers as he blasts him with his Omni-cannon to no effect, the Systematic is tougher than it looks. He tries to take him out by burying him in a building, but the Systematic removes himself from the rubble. The Systematic then hurls the rubble at Hardware, turning the tables on him, which allows him to grab Hardware with his giant claw. Curtis appears to be helpless now, as the Systematic tells him that he “does not have a great deal of time left. I’m told that you made a copy of Mr. Alva’s computer files… that’s a no-no. You don’t mind if I override your system and wipe it clean, do you?”. Hardware’s system is then jacked into by the Systematic armor causing OBIE to link up and serve the Indigo Mainframe. As the bad guys are about to take away Hardware’s advantage over Alva, he has time to launch one more attack. Before OBIE is totally taken over by the I.M., Hardware activates his Eye Movement Input Device:



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Your winner in the battle of armored clad warriors: HARDWARE! So what’s a guy to do with battle armor that you just beat the hell out of? Analyze it completely of course! After Curtis takes the Systematic armor apart and gleans what he can from it, he goes straight to the source of his problems:



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Hardware leaves him with two grim thoughts: “If this is the best (meaning the armor) you got to defend yourself, you may as well give up now!” and “I’m on you. Just TRY something else, ANYTHING, and you can give your soul to the lord…. Cause your ass belongs to ME!” I know I wouldn’t mess with him.

The issue ends with an epilogue that wraps up the four-issue storyline very nicely. The information Curtis has gotten from Alva and the Systematic armor has changed his opinions and his options. He is in his apartment, with his new parakeet (remember the bird analogy from issue number one…. Check out the first MMM column to refresh the memory) telling everything to Barraki. He tells Barraki that it is now a stalemate between Hardware and Alva. He lets his new bird fly free around his apartment, intending to never put him in a cage. He realizes he created Hardware to escape from the cage that Alva put him in, but that he then proceeded to turn Hardware into yet another cage. He wraps up his first adventure with the following:



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Well, these last two parts of this 4-part origin story really fill in the blanks and shows a lot of character development. If you remember from the first couple of issues, Hardware is an uber-violent over the top killing machine, armed to the teeth like a Rob Liefeld character on crack. Reading these last two parts show that the writer, Dwayne McDuffie, did this on purpose as he created a whole character arc to bring Hardware from a cold-blooded self-absorbed killer to a hero who must figure out what his place is in the world. Curtis is no longer going to take out Alva and walk away, his worldview has changed. He knows about the group known as the System, but doesn’t know their true purpose. Where he goes from here is unknown at issues end, but it shouldn’t be boring.

These two issues also help to further develop the Dakotaverse as a whole. The origins of the System and the Systematic armor are touched upon, and we have seen what they have been up to in other Milestone books. Did they cause the Big Bang? Did Alva have a hand in creating the Gas that caused all the gang-bangers to suddenly sprout superpowers (holy alliteration Batman). We will in the weeks to come pull back the curtain on this little mystery, as we dig deeper and deeper into the Milestone Comics line.

On a Milestone related note, Dwayne McDuffie has a couple of projects that all faithful Triple M readers should take note of. The first is the mini-series Beyond! From Marvel that just ended this past Wednesday. I highly recommend this 6 issue series, it provides some serious twists and turns, and if you know your Marvel Comics history the title should give you a hint as to what this series is all about (I’ll give you a hint…. It rhymes with Wecret Sar Planet) Now this series ended in such a way that it suggests sequel, and if it doesn’t happen in it’s own series then perhaps Dwayne will pick up the threads when he takes over his other big Marvel project …..Fantastic Four. On the DC side of the world, Dwayne is also going to be writing Firestorm in the near future, which should be great as well. I am a big Firestorm fan, and since his storyline will supposedly involve the New Gods I am doing cartwheels. Check them all out and tell them that Munson sent you! That’s it for this week folks, next week we get to compare and contrast Jesus and Spider-Man… oh no wait that’s for a totally different website, my bad! What we will really do next week is review Icon #3, and Blood Syndicate #3 and 4 so join us here at your one and only destination for fun and excitement …. Munson’s Milestone Mondays!

Now before I end this week’s column I want to announce a contest of sorts. Now Bahlactus, our gracious host here at bahlactus.com, has his cool little sign off “Bahlactus has spoken” whenever he finishes a post or an email. Well, your pal Munson would like to have one of his own but I need your help my Milestone Minions! Either leave your suggestion in the comments section, or email it to Bahlactus and I will choose the one that I like the best. What do you win you ask? Well, I’ll tell you what you win. You will win the Static Shock Trade Paperback that reprints the first four issues of Static. This Trade was released around the time of the cartoon show, hence the name difference, and the resulting publication of a Static Shock miniseries that continued the Milestone continuity after the books were canceled. It’s a hard Trade to find, but I will give it away to the person who gives me the best catchphrase to close out my columns! So until next week……

Munson OUT!

(See why I need a good catchphrase; I am stealing one from Ryan Seacrest of all flipping people)

3 Responses to “Munson’s Milestone MondaysHardware #3 & #4

  1. Max Says:

    cool stuff as always, Mr. Munson. And yeah, the catch phrase might need work.

  2. bahlactus Says:

    “..and thats the bottom line, because MUNSON says so!!!

  3. Garth Says:

    Here are some ideas for your sign off:

    “I’m ALWAYS right!”

    “Make it Munson!”

    “Munsonites unite!”

    “Mmmm Mmmm Munson!”

    “You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.”

    “Lights out kids!”

    “Who you callin’ a psycho?!”
    http://www.gotwavs.com/php/sounds/?id=gog&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=Kingpin&quote=psycho.txt&file=psycho.mp3

    “You’ve been Munsoned!”
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=munsoned
    http://www.moviequotequiz.com/othersounds/Munsoned.wav

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