Announcer: The Friday Night Fights official sponsor Ninja Shark Bites connects like a phone operator, using these minutes like he valued a call!!!

Announcer: But the the lil’ stuffed Bully comes down like water fresh out of the clouds and drowns everyone like heavy weather!!!

Announcer: Engblom speaks his peace in court and makes Judge Mills pause for the beatings!!!

Announcer: DBro is as fast as lightning and screams you better use your nikes!!!

Announcer: Hittin’ you like an MTV reality series Siskoid’s got jokes and has everyone on Punk’d with no Ashton Kutcher!!!

Announcer: Bitter Andrew ain’t throwin’ out no more cash, and says it’s time to collect dividends out of that ass!!!

Announer: On a planet where Everyday is Like Wednesday, in the square circle and it’s about bringing hard metal to teeth!!!

Announcer: You think it’s all fun and games but Bondurant is no joke..taxing the stage where even millionaires get their throats cut!!!

Announcer: Alot of people casting shade on the Scans Daily page, but say what-you-say? Bohnke just wants to bring pain!!!

Announcer: Vaklam be the boss! He’s always issuing lay-offs!!!

Announcer: On-and-on, Kalinara returns from the future like a Centurion! Bleachin’ asses blond and blackin’ everyones color back to bronze!!!

Announcer: Wicked Juan asks are you prepared?!? but decides to put a hot one in everyone standin’ in the ring!!!

Announcer: Why does everyone think they can really see Erich’s squad? Because he hits you hard enough you can feel the power of the gods!!!

Announcer: The Fortress Keeper says quit tryin’ so hard to be nothing!!!

Announcer: Gordon is permanent pressing his enemies and back peeling em’ off the wall!!!

Announcer: Extremely delicate like the blowing out of candle lights, Ragnell, the silent killer surpises every sucka that enters the fight!!!

Announcer: Disaster strikes!!! Staeger is quick to kick you before you decide you want to brawl!!!

Announcer: Bacardi decides it’s his time to shine and blinds his enemies eyesight!!!

Announcer: Do you really want to party with Great Caesars Post?!? Not when he hits you so hard you can feel it in your toes!!!

Announcer: In God we trust! Urbanciz is someone you’ve must of heard of, he’s murderous!!!

Announcer: Secrets and Lies releases the heat and melts fools to the extreme!!!

Announcer: Oh SNIKT!!! Munsonisms bringing it notorious! Taking no prisioners and straight up Ultimate Warrior!!!

Announcer: Kitty wants to know what do you consider fun?!? She loves to universally beat the whole entire world!!!

Announcer: Church plays like KITT knew Hasselhoff’s truth when he blasts through and hits the turbo boost!!!

Announcer: Sims doesn’t spare the brakes and he’s full speed ahead like he’s runnin’ a TOLL BOOTH!!!

From the original “I Hunger” Sweepstakes! announcement:

Always Bet on Bahlactus is pleased to announce the official “I Hunger” Sweepstakes!!! One lucky winner will be able to get down with my favorite GALACTUS arc, straight out of Fantastic Four #242-244.

GALACTUS has spared more than one life and more than one planet by request. Along that same line, I’m extending the sweepstakes until next Thursday, July ^5th. Don’t sleep on this twist of fortune! (especially those of you would be heralds who’ve pleaded for an extension). Bahlactus has spoken.

Thanks to an increasing number of contenders in Friday Night Fights, a ton of Comics blogs are now on my radar. One of the rookie fighters in the ring, Diamondrock, really caught my attention with this Thursday Night Thinking meme that he crafted to pass the time until the next battle royale.

I dig the fact that Friday Night Fights inspired this new creation and will definitely get down and participate this Thursday. It’s been going for three weeks solid and if I’m crashing it, you definitely should too. Bahlactus has spoken.

Announcer: Friday Night Fights is back with an all new series — UPPERCUT!!! The loves been lost, the gloves are off, so figure, what side are you trying to be on? The barrel or the trigger?!?

Announcer: Engblom’s got his goggles on and lets everyone know they are transparent like Reynolds Wrap and he’s seeing clear through!!!

Announcer: Maybe it’s the thug in him, but Padnick’s had enough of the static and says BE WARNED!!! He’s like a storm with his own thunder!!!

Announcer: Kalinara says you can take her out of the streets, but you can’t take the streets out of her!!!

Announcer: 12AM — on the way to the ring, 1AM — Erich hears the fans scream!!! 2AM — lacin’ em’ up! 3AM — KNOCKIN’ EM’ OUT!!!

Announcer: He gets high, he gets High, he gets HIGH!!! Church gets high on your beatings, high on your bleeding, HIGH on your R-I-P memory!!!

Announcer: Collected Editions says don’t talk about your skills, “you aiight, but you ain’t REAL!!! — You got in the ring thinkin’ you could duel with me!!!” But none of you can FOOL WITH ME!!!

Announcer: Previously…Munson caught lumps in Friday Night Fights, but came back after training and it’s plain Golden Boy ain’t fightin’ the same!!!

Announcer: BitterAndrew cuts loose with the parental discretions and says this whoopin’ is rated TV-MALSV!!!

Announcer: He definitely won’t do any thing STRANGE for some change — but the lil’ stuffed Bully sho’ nuf’ will SMACK and BEAT you for a dollar until you HOLLA!!!

Announcer: Don’t be fooled while the Fortress of Fortitude plays quiet!!! Guard-Yo-Grill! or you may get caught up in a MONSTER prison riot!!!

Announcer: Someone better slide Bacardi some rum before he smashes the stage with his latest karaoke hit “Punks Jump Up to Get Beat Down”!!!

Announcer: The Kitsune Sniper whirls in from Scans Daily with a Spinning Bird Kick!!! and you better protect your chin when he winds up for the Deadpool master’s Sho-RYU-KEN!!!

Announcer: Playin’ it like the fairytale wolf Siskoid says little pig, little pig, let me in!!! but got impatient and blew the house down like Rinny-TinTin!!!

Announcer: Diamondrock claims the smaller they are, the harder they hit!!! Either way he’s done takin’ heat with and puttin’ up with the bull-shikt!!!

Announcer: Always brawlin’ with a full deck, Dorian is taxing marks and stompin’ all hearts with clubs!!!

Announcer: His middle name must be Punch You!!! because everytime Mozzocco is in the ring the crowd screams MAN! He PUNCHED YOUUUUUUU!!!

Announcer: It’s the official adventures of Great Caesars Post!!!. WARNING: if you funk with the king of heavy, he’ll dig in that ass like a wedgie!!!

Announcer: Lock your windows! Close your doors! Sims rocks it like Biggie rappin’ that he’s all that and a dime-sack..WITH A PAYBACK!!!

Announcer: It’s no disguise..it makes no sense..if it doesn’t fit then you must acquit!!! Noetic Concordance’s official beat down rules, Vaklam says big bank take lil bank, anything goes!!!

Announcer: The official Friday Night Fights sponsor Shark Bites wants to know, “so you wanna play rough?!?” Everyone wants to be Tony Montana — OK!!! Say hello to his lil’ friend!!!

Announcer: Goggle Kid comes from the 5 boroughs of death!!! He can make a tight fist and make it crumble ridiculous!!!

Always Bet on Bahlactus is pleased to announce the official “I Hunger” Sweepstakes!!! One lucky winner will be able to get down with my favorite GALACTUS arc, straight out of Fantastic Four #242-244.

I’ve already added this triple threat to my ABSOLUTE GALACTUS collection, and I dropped some Comics clue on it with two more back-to-back posts spotlighting the issues.

So how do you win this sweepstakes?!? It’s simple! All you have to do is send an original piece of GALACTUS fan art — hand drawn, or in photoshop/illustrator. Tap your frontal lobe and unleash your creativity. Many will enter, but, only one of you will claim victory.

The sweepstakes will be open until Wednesday, June ^27th. Only Bahlactus will judge you!!! Submit your entries to bahlactus@bahlactus.com. Then check back here on THURSDAY, June ^28th for the sweepstakes champion.

Now, go my heralds. Bring me fan art!!! Bahlactus has spoken.