Friday Night Fights — Uppercut!!! Round 1

Announcer: Friday Night Fights is back with an all new series — UPPERCUT!!! The loves been lost, the gloves are off, so figure, what side are you trying to be on? The barrel or the trigger?!?
Announcer: Engblom’s got his goggles on and lets everyone know they are transparent like Reynolds Wrap and he’s seeing clear through!!!
Announcer: Maybe it’s the thug in him, but Padnick’s had enough of the static and says BE WARNED!!! He’s like a storm with his own thunder!!!
Announcer: Kalinara says you can take her out of the streets, but you can’t take the streets out of her!!!
Announcer: 12AM — on the way to the ring, 1AM — Erich hears the fans scream!!! 2AM — lacin’ em’ up! 3AM — KNOCKIN’ EM’ OUT!!!
Announcer: He gets high, he gets High, he gets HIGH!!! Church gets high on your beatings, high on your bleeding, HIGH on your R-I-P memory!!!
Announcer: Collected Editions says don’t talk about your skills, “you aiight, but you ain’t REAL!!! — You got in the ring thinkin’ you could duel with me!!!” But none of you can FOOL WITH ME!!!
Announcer: Previously…Munson caught lumps in Friday Night Fights, but came back after training and it’s plain Golden Boy ain’t fightin’ the same!!!
Announcer: BitterAndrew cuts loose with the parental discretions and says this whoopin’ is rated TV-MALSV!!!
Announcer: He definitely won’t do any thing STRANGE for some change — but the lil’ stuffed Bully sho’ nuf’ will SMACK and BEAT you for a dollar until you HOLLA!!!
Announcer: Don’t be fooled while the Fortress of Fortitude plays quiet!!! Guard-Yo-Grill! or you may get caught up in a MONSTER prison riot!!!
Announcer: Someone better slide Bacardi some rum before he smashes the stage with his latest karaoke hit “Punks Jump Up to Get Beat Down”!!!
Announcer: The Kitsune Sniper whirls in from Scans Daily with a Spinning Bird Kick!!! and you better protect your chin when he winds up for the Deadpool master’s Sho-RYU-KEN!!!
Announcer: Playin’ it like the fairytale wolf Siskoid says little pig, little pig, let me in!!! but got impatient and blew the house down like Rinny-TinTin!!!
Announcer: Diamondrock claims the smaller they are, the harder they hit!!! Either way he’s done takin’ heat with and puttin’ up with the bull-shikt!!!
Announcer: Always brawlin’ with a full deck, Dorian is taxing marks and stompin’ all hearts with clubs!!!
Announcer: His middle name must be Punch You!!! because everytime Mozzocco is in the ring the crowd screams MAN! He PUNCHED YOUUUUUUU!!!
Announcer: It’s the official adventures of Great Caesars Post!!!. WARNING: if you funk with the king of heavy, he’ll dig in that ass like a wedgie!!!
Announcer: Lock your windows! Close your doors! Sims rocks it like Biggie rappin’ that he’s all that and a dime-sack..WITH A PAYBACK!!!
Announcer: It’s no disguise..it makes no sense..if it doesn’t fit then you must acquit!!! Noetic Concordance’s official beat down rules, Vaklam says big bank take lil bank, anything goes!!!
Announcer: The official Friday Night Fights sponsor Shark Bites wants to know, “so you wanna play rough?!?” Everyone wants to be Tony Montana — OK!!! Say hello to his lil’ friend!!!
Announcer: Goggle Kid comes from the 5 boroughs of death!!! He can make a tight fist and make it crumble ridiculous!!!


June 22nd, 2007 at 9:55 pm
You know, I love looking at everyone’s entries, but I’ve gotta say…Bahlactus, you kill me on those intros.
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Mark, I’m glad you’re diggin’ the Announcer, bruh. I definitely try to make sure gets what’s comin’ to em’!
June 22nd, 2007 at 11:25 pm
It was worth the wait. It’s the first time my intro made me laugh out loud! Keep fightin’!
June 23rd, 2007 at 12:46 am
I got up in this brawl. I should’ve found an uppercut, but damn if these Spidey Super Stories don’t uppercut MY ass with every panel I read.
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:19 am
[…] Friday Night Fights is back, baby. […]
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:21 am
It’s still Friday on the west coast, and you can still get snuck!
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I knew going out drinkin’ last night would come back to haunt me!
June 26th, 2007 at 2:02 am
I had a stake in this fight but I posted it poorly and it was broken all through Monday. I FAIL AT INTERNETZ. I swear I will rock all y’all … next time!
September 10th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
[…] *Bahlactus started it all over again at: Always Bet on Bahlactus. […]