Friday Night Fights — Uppercut!!! Round 6

Email your punches between 6PM and 10PMEST. Bahlactus has spoken.
Announcer: The Ronin Marketeer will snatch your seed like Chuck E. Cheese and feed you to the rats when you drop on the scene!!!
Announcer: Great Caesars Post had a dream you could buy your way to heaven, but woke up and put your face on the canvas!!!
Announcer: FINALLY!!! comin’ correct as a porn star, Munson gets it on where he lives, so you better have a pass when you cross his bridge!!!
Announcer: Opening up the longbox with the pimped-out suicide doors, Dave reads your last issue and proclaims this is life and I’m decidin’ yours!!!
Announcer: When you down too much Bacardi, you can’t tell him nothing — when you drink hard, thats when you die hard!!!
Announcer: Everyone Phoning It In better listen more and talk less when Jason watches all. He trusts none and demands you obey his whips!!!
Announcer: Collins is such a gentleman when he fills your champagne glass and you get trashed, then uses black market pies for the final smash!!!
Announcer: Better send someone to console your mama when Wicked Juan starts the fightin’ sport, and let her know you’re gonna need life support!!!
Announcer: Runnin’ on the Comic Treadmill gave you blood clots, but you ain’t Jamaican, man!!! and this beating right here is a movie in the making man!!!
Announcer: Lovers and Zombies ain’t nothin’ that you’re used to — out of the ordinary and unusual and can’t nobody freak it like Orange could!!!
Announcer: Gates is playing it close like Starsky and Hutch and says stick to the clutch!!!
Announcer: It was your last stand when Collected Editions saw your story on MTV, but his script ensures you won’t be able to Make the Band!!!
Announcer: Woody is unbreakable and does his best to joust you like your nickname was Mr. Glass!!!
Announcer: It gets murky in the deep and the Monstrobot wants to put it all in perspective for everyone in the squared-circle, this is where Death lives!!!
Announcer: Don’t be too cool for the safety-belt when Bitter Andrew drives or you’ll end up lookin’ like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky!!!
Announcer: Vaklam says mute all the monologue, all that talkin’ is going to get you needing an aspirin’ and he’s puttin’ everyone to sleep like tylenol!!!
Announcer: It’s a celebration bitches!!! and Everyday is Like Wednesday!!! Grab a drink, grab a glass and after that he’s gonna whoop that ass!!!
Announcer: Space Booger had some problems before, but, he let them go and now he’s about to mash your head to the floor!!!
Announcer: Grebok is playing it like Nino Brown in New Jack City, screaming cancel that bitch!!!
Announcer: If you’re looking for Alewing, he’ll be on the block with his fist cocked and makin’ teeth drop and the pain won’t stop!!!
Announcer: Siskoid conceals his weapons nice and easily so you can’t see, until he closes the bars like a warden in your penitentiary!!!
Announcer: Someones been murdered by Jimmy Olsen’s Blues, no one saw it, no one heard it — and the only evidence was the lovely funeral service!!!
Announcer: Hero Sandwich doesn’t deal with cowards and plays it like the Persians when weak land always gets devoured!!!
Announcer: When you Walk Through Destiny’s Garden, the root of evil strikes again and it’s going to sting!!!
Announcer: Kalinara is quick to put a whole in a chump, and claims ain’t shit changed when she’s quick to bounce heads out the ring!!!
Announcer: Dr. K’s got 100’s for your beef in the streets and he can commit a hot slug right in between your front teeth!!!
Announcer: The Fortress Keeper says revolutionary warfare is all fair, love and war, and for the cause he’ll knock you out right here!!!
Announcer: The strong rules the weak, and Dorian knows the wise rules the strong — appreciates the patient kill when he drops the Godzilla bombs!!!
Announcer: Fuck the system, Sims plays like he’s hitler, a Black guerilla, crips and bloods — all rolled into one figure!!!


July 28th, 2007 at 1:24 am
Uppercut!
July 29th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
[…] So I got lucky in round one, when checking out everyone’s posts it looked like free for all fighting, but after hearing from the lead promoter himself, he’s going for more of a true boxing Friday night thing, making my HUGE metallic molar-rattling cross hit right on target. […]
September 10th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
[…] *Blame the Urban Devourer of Worlds and Prize Fighters at: Always Bet on Bahlactus. […]