Announcer: The Canoe Guy doens’t break a sweat and sponsors his new campaign claiming you’re better off behind a desk tryin’ to surf the net!!!

Announcer: Don’t sleep on Vaklam who brings is straight to your face from the start, ragin’ against the machine, breakin’ it apart!!!

Announcer: The fightin’ Canadian Cormier is strong from Apocalypse where fighting is an art — givin’ cats battlescars and making his mark!!!

Announcer: Bondurant is the mad author of anguish, his language — polluted, but he’s a heavyweight and undisputed!!!

Announcer: Sims got the stuff legends are made of, urban folklore, and is rockin’ the whole world like a rolling stone tour!!!

Announcer: But Siskoid is on the night shift puttin’ heads to bed like Hennessey and Nyquil!!!

Announcer: Wicked Juan is back and is stackin’ notes like a treasury, makin’ people fall off like limbs affected with leprosy!!!

Announcer: DBro is irate and using up bodies for live bait, issuing heavy beatings you can’t take!!!

Announcer: Collected Editions is reminiscing over you and is blowin’ up with some old school ish from junior high!!!

Announcer: Munson is gettin’ more green that that fool St. Patrick and says if you refuse to take a falldown you get bruised!!!

Announcer: It’s all Secrets and Lies and the Cheetamaster is lockin’ ish down like you can’t get a prison visit!!!

Announcer: BitterAndrew is like Jim Morrison when he breaks on through, before he cares about your take on him he takes on you!!!

Announcer: Erich says your best jab is faker than a bomb threat, like a nervous terrorist who is so scared he’ll make your palms sweat!!!

Announcer: Staegerleads the party over here like an Israelite, and shows no love with the light while making you hate the dark!!!

Announcer: Jeff is getting high on speech laced with obscenities and comes to beat em’ and mistreat em’!!!

Announcer: The lil’ stuffed Bully plays like a bulldozer with a wrecking ball attached leaving rings around the eyes and treadmarks on everyones back!!!

Announcer: Phoning-it-in, Jason’s collect call says you’re staring at the angel of death, liar-liar-pants-on-fire!!!, burnin’ em up like they were David Koresh!!!

Announcer: Bryant is getting down like James Bond in the Octagon with TWO RAZORS!!!

Announcer: Be sure to add new blood to your Origin of Hero Sandwich because he is sick of mini-me’s trying to clone him and has a bonus for the snitch that runs up on him!!!

Announcer: Pullin’ out the Golden Age ass-whoopin’ from the LONGBOX, it’s Dave the non-dopefiend, spittin’ hot fire like Esther on Sanford & Son, and is bringing heat with more juice than Sunkist!!!

Announcer: The Fortress Keeper is boxing if you get too wild! paintin’ you up like graffiti warriors from Wildstyle!!!

Announcer: Hittin’ you like a 12-gauge to the body, Dorian says you carbon copies better find yourself a hobby!!!

Announcer: Mozzocco says that if you touch him he’ll just lay back and hit you with the definition of a payback!!!

Announcer: Great Caesars Post comes correct with the perseverance of a rebel, especially when he fights with the strength of the devil!!!

Announcer: Diamondrock asks do you want to be in the rat race?!? But thinks you’re too slow and can’t even keep a 1-lap pace!!!

Announcer: Bacardi is the new Morpheus in this Friday Night Fights matrix…bringing the real and exposing the fake ish!!!

Announcer: If the fight club had a revolution, it’s no Random Happenstance that Googum would bring the beatings for theme music!!!

Announcer: He never was a fan of the pop lock, but Monty says funk a sword and puts the black-capped pen to your mailbox!!!

The first official “I Hunger” Sweepstakes! has finally ended. Competition was fierce and after extending the sweepstakes last week, I’m happy to announce that Zoe Holbo (age 5!) flexed the power cosmic with her winning entry!!!

Zoe devours all other entries and wins one of the best GALACTUS stories in print — Fantastic Four #242-244:

Big SHOUT-OUT! to runner-up, Dan Cleri, who submitted this original flavor formation:

Dan wins a complete set of Jonathan Hickman’s Nightly News!!! This is Hickman’s first creative dive into Comics and it’s fire. Dan will receive issues #1-6, and the first issue is sporting a signature from Hickman as well!

Congratulations to Zoe and Dan!!! Don’t worry if you didn’t win this round. Here at Always Bet on Bahlactus, you can expect more “I Hunger” Sweepstakes! this year. Stay tuned. Bahlactus has spoken.

Last week I dropped some clue about Thursday Night Thinking from Diamondrock. Now you can also get down with some Monday morning quarterbackin’ at The Roar of Comics with Jeff’s Monday Morning Mackin’!!! There really isn’t any need to clarify that, is there?!?

More and more, it seems the cosmos converges at Friday Night Fights and De Wicked Juan is the latest contender with a Comics blog that is on my radar. You should get down with him, Just Because. Bahlactus has spoken.