Announcer: Not takin’ any orders for cleanup on isle three, Great Caesars Post instead decides he’s gonna start whoopin’ your ass wholesale!!!

Announcer: He’s not here to tell you to smoke weed, but, Gemm wants everyone to get high when he applies the pressure!!!

Announcer: If you have ring jitters, then Phoning It In feels bad for you son, you’ve got 99 problems, and his fist is one!!!

Announcer: Staeger says the rain is gonna come, through the window the pain is gonna come, feel the wetness!!!

Announcer: Grebok-Sod walks through puddles of struggle in flooded streets, soakin’ wet, but he’s still the master of you gettin’ beat!!!

Announcer: From the beginning Hero Sandwich has your head spinnin’ like hip-hop, the never ending won’t stop, not until these final beatings drop!!!

Announcer: Having sound control and he’s kinda slick with it, Everyday is Like Wednesday knows how to get down like that — ring regulator and bomb detonator!!!

Announcer: Munson struggles more than tug-o-war, fighting chumps by the score — before he dies on the sword he’s bringin’ the heavy hand of the law!!!

Announcer: Engblom is on a journey, marchin’ through madness like an LA Law attorney — sending out multiple convictions with you on a gourney!!!

Announcer: Siskoid came here to set this party off right — if you don’t let him through the front door he’s comin’ through the side!!!

Announcer: It isn’t the contenders that act hard, its like Flanagan who plays it quiet like, puttin’ the slugs in your back and kissin’ that ass goodnight!!!

Announcer: Dems Good Readin’ when you funk around and get your life took, steady squeezin’ that trigger while bullets employ distribution with bigger figures!!!

Announcer: Doctor K doesn’t mind being criticized — those who try to fake on his name..DIE!!!

Announcer: Monstrob of the Deep devastates the crowd while the record spins, so go on, competitors to Slay get no wins!!!

Announcer: Gatevackes laughs at fighters that call him whack, you ordered pain and now he’s about to serve up smacks!!!

Announcer: Prepare for battle and proceed to wax, Cheetahmaster takes time he feels is ample, dealin’ with contenders he turns into examples!!!

Announcer: If you think about dissin’ the sponsor, Ninja Shark Bites, you better think twice — next time he’s not playin’ so nice!!!

Announcer: School is in session and Woody is about to teach he’s versatile with a style you can’t defeat!!!

Announcer: Jimmy Olsen’s Blues will be grieving your death — weepin’ while they’re sweepin’ up the pieces of you he left!!!

Announcer: All other fighters better feel Bondurant’s wrath — the ring is his stage and his fists bring the blast!!!

Announcer: The way the Fortress of Fortitude shines, it has splendor. It’s the real deal that crushes all pretenders!!!

Announcer: Other fighters Bitter Andrew serves up pain without mercy, he’s relentless — step to him and he’s knockin’ you senseless!!!

Announcer: Goggle Kid for Scans Daily planted the seed, so don’t try to uproot him — you’d do better tryin’ to straight up shoot him!!!

Announcer: Makin’ your head swell till your eyes start to dilate, Diamondrock claims up here is his air and you better not try to violate!!!

Announcer: There isn’t another that Vaklam is afraid of, and he has you screamin’ his name like a girl when he slays you!!!

Announcer: Daring to degrade Space Booger’s name is like purjury — when he declares war, you’re gonna need surgery!!!

Announcer: Lovers and Zombies caught you with a rhyme of such high fidelity, Orange kicks like Shaolin and you’re soft like a melody!!!

Announcer: Collected Editions is super-superb, Mr. Fantastic!!! No relation to drugs but he stings like a cocaine track hit!!!

Announcer: Criminal minded Secret Earth is steady grindin’ — lookin’ for a style like his you’re bound to get blinded!!!

Announcer: The Ronin Marketeer says you should have been a Robo-Cop but you’re not!!! With a fighting style like that, you’re bound to get shot!!!

Announer: Dorian transforms like a Decepticon — once he takes shape you’re definitely getting mashed on!!!

Announcer: Church notices the skills of his fighting style you’re admiring — don’t be mad though, UPS is still hirin’!!!

Announcer: Your fighting style to Sims is kinda boring, so grab onto his dick — he’s too lazy so hold it for him!!!

Nobody can do the hoodoo like Brother Voodoo!!! Jericho Drumm as Brother Voodoo is the story of a man who comes home and is forced to claim his birthright. The mystic tales of the voodoo priest begins with death and resurrection. The Strange Tales of Brother Voodoo challenges the logic and academic belief system of Drumm as the scholarly-type brutha and transforms him into a mystical peoples champion.

What I really dig about this type of hero story is the fact that you don’t get to choose to be a hero — it chooses you. Once you embrace it and keep it tight, your whole scenario takes shape as if you were born to it. When a characters character comes to the forefront in a compelling way, you can’t help but get down with it. Brother Voodoo has that edge, and I challenge you to stare into the eyes of a man who has lived twice. Bahlactus has spoken.

Announcer: Munson says your’e a window shopper, mad at him and he thinks he knows why — all in his store lookin’ at ish you can’t buy!!!

Announcer: But Church asks why you callin’ dude? This is my food!!! You can handle the mouths that it trickles down to!!!

Announcer: Never cruisin’ anyones hood without his gun, Sims isn’t goin’ for all that bull-ish, funk with him and you might catch a full clip!!!

Announcer: Kitty turns the sound down and gets down to business, showing every punk on the scene she’s about to lay it down with some foul vengeance!!!

Announcer: Bully says if you wanna ball till you fall, he can help you with that!!!

Announcer: When the time comes Destiny’s Garden is going to mask up and revolutionary the scene and whoop you like he’s tryin’ to free his comrades from the back of the bus!!!

Announcer: Engblom is bringin’ his armor-all flow and makes sure the beatings he gives you never get rusty!!!

Announcer: It’s a crime scene when Grebok-Sod plays it like Jeff Fort with you get locked up by his bars!!!

Announcer: Slemmons is throwin’ a shut-out!!! and has more strikes than Orel Hershizer!!!

Announcer: Back from the future, Vaklam’s back with a surprise because he knows this current ass-whoopin’ is gonna take your life!!!

Announcer: Gemm is on his green like croutons!!! issuing beatings with no coupons!!!

Announcer: Everyday is Like Wednesday for the american idol, towerin’ like the Eiffel destroyin’ all rivals!!!

Announcer: Doctor K. got caught in a case of robbery but now he’s beatin’ that rap like Michael!!!

Announcer: He’s a flame thrower — Bondurant will make your Mama afraid to know you!!! so play your position small soldier!!!

Announcer: Fresh out the gate again, Great Caesars Post raises the stakes again and lets you cats know he always plays to win!!!

Announcer: Thats all for you!!! Fish Flavored Baseball Bats levels your whole team, shatters your schemes and dismantles your dreams!!!

Announcer: Snell has suffered just so he could come back harder and asks wanna be the shit starter?!? Funk around and he’ll make you a martyr!!!

Announcer: The Fortress Keeper will make you famous — but then you’ll know pain when he turns around and makes you nameless!!!

Announcer: Orange says save it before you catch a hot one!!! She’s got fists so fast they start flyin’ as soon as she spots you son!!!

Announcer: Woody asks do you wanna mess with this?!? He’s still the best there is!!!

Announcer: If you stand in Staeger’s way, he’ll have to spray — he’ll be laughing you to pieces, so you better pray!!!

Announcer: Jimmy Olsen’s Blues makes him a boulder and impossible to stop!!! Steady a reed floatin’ on water makin’ him impossible to drop!!!

Announcer: Alewing has two magazines to your one and won’t stop clippin’ until you’re all done!!!

Announcer: SpaceBooger is havin’ nightmares and homicidal fantasies!!! wakin’ up in the bed stranglin’ the sheets!!!

Announcer: Catch a whif of BitterAndrew’s name and you’re bound to fry!!! Look at the headstones of all the enemies that have already died!!!

Announcer: Collected Editions is attackin’ like a slick Apache with a bow & arrow that’s trigger happy you mistook his grin for a Comanche!!!

Announcer: Run your race to win or stop right now, Dave’s Longbox will smack you upright — POW!!! Look at you now, dead, coffin lined up by the back isle!!!

Announcer: Ninja Shark Bites doesn’t like you, so watch out when he gases that ass and then ignites you!!!

Announcer: Phoning It In has adversaries who will have to be worried, because he’s killin’ and will fulfill these murderous passions until he’s buried!!!

Announcer: They say murder don’t make the man, but Comic Treadmill is big leaguing everyone by makin’ murder!!!

Announcer: Diamondrock is livin’ the life of a boss player — the front desk is callin’ but he’s checkin’ out later!!!

Announcer: Bacardi says you’re a coward who can never be live and when you died, he saw the bitch in your eyes!!!