Comments on: HULK LOVE Christmas!!! (Contest)

by: John Seavey

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:32:11 +0000

I’d just point out to David H. that it was probably Roy Thomas, not Stan Lee, who actually wrote “If only Hulk could reach–the stars!” Roy Thomas was really the writer responsible for giving the Hulk his distinctive speech patterns, and Stan Lee, as editor, was usually given a more prominent place in the credits than the writer (since it was believed his name sold books.) I’d have to go back and sift through my ‘Essential Hulk’ collection to be sure, and I really don’t have the energy for that, but I have a pretty strong suspicion you’re thinking of Roy.

by: Paul

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 23:02:51 +0000

My favorite was from House of M Hulk. “I know why you beat up the giant rampaging robot, buy why did you destroy the Sydney Orchestra House?” “Hulk hate opera.”

by: West

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:18:10 +0000

* Ultimate Hulk: “Hulk’s gonna get you no matter who they send, Betty! Hulk hornier than a–”

* David Banner: “”Mr. McGee, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

Technically, this was from Banner in the old, live-action, tv show, but it’s a classic.

* Ultimate Thor: “Your jaw is broken, your ribs are cracked and one of your lungs has just been punctured, Banner. Have you tasted enough of Mjolnir, yet?”

Ultimate Hulk: “Nah, Thor’s hammer just make Hulk horny for Betty again, hippie!”

by: Pete

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:01:45 +0000

Not original Hulk dialogue to the best of my knowledge, but I like to use it when people display their lack of intimacy with language.

“HULK SMASH PUNY GRAMMAR!”

by: Coren

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 09:28:49 +0000

I think the Hulk Straight is from the Ultimates, whereas Hulk hate personal pronouns is from PAD’s House of M tie in issue (damnit, now I had to go reread it)

“Hulk hates stupid giant cyborg things…Hulk hates Australia. And most of all…Hulk hates personal pronouns!”

Hulk proceeds to kick a giant cyborg’s ass with the freaking Sidney Opera House. And then destroys the rest.

“Had a reason” “Can’t stand opera”

God I miss PAD on Hulk.

Although Chris Giarrusso is pretty freaking awesome.

“Hulk so mad Hulk stop referring to myself in the third person”

Followed by

“Illuminators
Shot me into outer space
Now I will smash them”

And yes. That was a freaking haiku (followed by everyone finger counting)

Let’s see, what else?

Hands down, the best issue for funny Hulk dialogue? Marvel Adventures Hulk #2. The gist? Banner gets hit with a gamma beam..with Madrox standing next to him. Enter: Multiple Hulk. You get such gems as

“Hulk love cute monkey! Hulk play!”

“Whoa, Hulk lover, not fighter”

“Hulk love crushing cars!”

“Hulk smash fake Hulks! Hulk strongest Hulk there is!”

But my favorite two?

Hulk punching another Hulk shouting “NO MORE HULKS!”

And Hulk holding a boquet of road signs

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and girl is the sun.”

As the girl flees in terror

“Girl not like Shakespeare?”

(This issue also features Hulk in the thinker pose)

Or, if you want to go another route..

“Hulk…strongest one there is. Hulk…only one there is…Hulk feels…cold.”

by: David Morris

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 06:42:45 +0000

It’s a long time ago, so I may not have it word perfect, but I have some affection for “Men kill Bambi’s mother?!” from Gerber and Buscema’s run on Defenders.

by: Tim

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 03:54:30 +0000

“Hulk think we should see other people. It not you, it Hulk”

by: Beezly

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 03:45:46 +0000

Why puny Freud keep calling Hulk “manifestation of the repressed Oedipal guilt”? Hulk smash puny Dad!…Freud. Hulk meant, Freud!

by: Ed

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 02:34:08 +0000

Eh? Is big hand.
Said in a very early issue of Defenders, at the appearance of a… big (disembodied) hand.
Can I just say that I’d gladly trade Talk Like a Pirate Day for Talk Like Hulk Day?

by: Owesome

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:07:37 +0000

Hulk is Santa Clause!
Hulk cannot fit down chimney.
Hulk smash naughty kids!